I haven't really done this for the Grammys before, but what the hell, I'll give it a whirl.
I've seen two promos for the Grammys so far naming the artists who'll be performing. And they don't mention Arcade Fire, The Avett Brothers or Mumford and Sons. x_x
8 PM: Yes, starting with an honorary performance/award for Aretha Franklin! Great way to start! ... But Aretha, oh how the years have treated you. :(
8:02 PM: Christina Aguilera and Martina McBride as part of a tribute to Aretha? Um ... interesting. But toss Florence of Florence & The Machine in there? Nice! :)
8:05 PM: Florence ... you are awesomeness!
8:13 PM: Oh, hi, Aretha! :D
8:14 PM: And we have a commercial.
8:19 PM: And we're back. Bows for the tribute performers. Oh, and they're presenting for Pop Performance (Duo or Group). Hrm ... *sees nominees* ... I'd be fine with Glee, Train, Maroon 5, or ... Paramore.
8:21 PM: Congrats to Train!
8:22 PM: Oy! Easy with the playing people off! And Ricky Martin ... are you in silver lamé pants? XD
8:23 PM: Heeeeeeeeeeeere's Gaga! ... In an egg. And she's hatching! ... I like the hat!
8:26 PM: Organ? A la Phantom? ... Or ... wait ... it looks like something out of the Fortress of Solitude. And the dancers are in skin-colored underwear.
8:28 PM: And another commercial. ... C'mon! Announce Mumford and Sons, Arcade Fire, and The Avett Brothers!
8:33 PM: Wait ... who is this guy? ... *goes on Wikipedia* Oh. Huh. Miranda Lambert's hubby. Can you say preferential treatment? XD
8:38 PM: Lenny Kravitz! Nice to see ya! And introducing Muse! :D
8:40 PM: Someone rushing on stage? What? ... Oh, part of the act! XD
8:45 PM: And another commercial. XP
8:49 PM: Seacrest! Bravo! ... How are you still relevant? ... Um ... interesting super group? Bruno, aren't you supposed to be somewhere ... on charges? *checks Wikipedia* Okay, never mind, community service. Get going on that! ... After this set. I'm rather enjoying it. :)
8:57 PM: Dierks ... who? Country singer? Finally another award presentation! Sure took long enough! ... Female Country Vocalist. Um ... yeah ... I don't really care about this category ... but I'd be fine with Jewel.
8:59 PM: Well, Miranda performed and she won. Congrats to her.
9 PM: And a commercial. ... THEY MENTIONED MUMFORDANDSONSANDTHEAVETTBROTHERSYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! ANDARCADEFIRETOO! *HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYDANCE*
9:05 PM: ... Eva, what are you doing introducing Justin Bieber at the Grammys? ... *snickers at "Beautiful relationship"*
9:06 PM: Justin ... you can play guitar? ... 'Baby' on acoustic guitar? Well ... I'm slightly impressed. No Auto-tuning? ... Japanese drummers?! ... And back to the Autotuning singing. XP *cracks open Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns*
9:09 PM: Jaden? Where's your sister? Too busy whipping her hair? XD ... And you're in leopard skin tight-pants.
9:13 PM: Paramore and the goth actress (and by goth I mean the character she plays dresses goth-like) from NCIS? Uh ... okay. But it's Best Rock Album! Oh, Jeff Beck, Muse, Pearl Jam, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Neil Young ...damn, I'd be fine with any of 'em. ... Okay, Muse, nice, nice! :)
9:15 PM: And another commercial.
9:20 PM: Donnie, please take off the glasses ... unless you're hungover. ... And paired with Selena Gomez? Uh ... And in this category (Best Pop Vocal Album), I'm either for Susan Boyle or Lady Gaga. Or maybe John Mayer. Maybe Katy Perry. ... Congrats, Gaga! ... Skin-tight, pre-fitted leather outfit? Okaaaaay ...
9:23 PM: And they start to play Gaga off, but they let her finish. :) And Letterman has a bit? Okaaaaaaaay ...
9:25 PM: MUMFORDANDSONSMUMFORDANDSONSMUMFORDANDSONSMUMFORDANDSONS!
9:27 PM: AVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETBROTHERS! :D
9:30 PM: DYLAN ... and his raspy growl. XD
9:34 PM: *clears throat and calms down* So ... 'The Cave', 'Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise', and 'Maggie's Farm' were just fantastic! Wow ... I kinda want to see Mumford and Sons, The Avett Brothers, and Bob Dylan make an album together. :) And now a commercial.
9:39 PM: Oh, Lifetime Achievement awards. Nice, nice. :) And ... wait, wait, an NFL player? Okaaaaay?
9:40 PM: Lady Antebellum covering Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes? I'm impressed!
9:44 PM: Miley with Kings of Leon? ... Nothing about Miley having sex while on fire? ... I kid, I kid. And presenting for Best Country Album. Hrm ... I'm going with the Zac Brown Band. Or Lady Antebellum. Congrats, Lady Antebellum!
9:50 PM: Okay, Cee-Lo looks like a giant painted turkey. And Gwyneth Paltrow singing along with him on 'Forget You'? And another commercial.
9:56 PM: NPH! SINGSINGSINGSING ... no? :( ... But a sex joke about Katy Perry? Okaaaay?
10 PM: And now you're in a tiny diamond coated summer dress. Bravo, Katy, I think you gave a fair amount of the male Grammy audience a raging hard-on. ... Me? No thanks.
10:02 PM: Going a bit country now? Oh, never mind, this is a good tune. Dolly Parton cover, huh? :) Maybe minus John Mayer.
10:04 PM: Song of the Year. Okay. Either Ray LaMontagne or Cee-Lo. Mkay, Lady Antebellum is still good. :)
10:06 PM: Mkay, another commercial ... and nothing against Bieber, but I don't want to see him win when he's up against people like Florence and the Machine and Mumford and Sons.
10:12 PM: Seth Rogen presenting a Grammy? Mkaaaaay? Well, the Miley Cyrus pot joke was amusing.
10:13 PM: *mutes TV/lowers volume and opens The Dark Knight Returns*
10:20 PM: Jewel? John Legend? Okay. ... Best New Artist? Bieber? Nope. Drake? Nah. Florence and the Machine? I could go for them. And Mumford and Sons too. ^_^ Dunno about Esperanza Spalding. AAAAAAAAAAAAAND ... okay, an unknown in my book, but congrats, Esperanza!
10:23 PM: Another commercial. But Album of the Year is coming soon. :)
10:28 PM: Matthew Morrison! Do something from 'South Pacific'! ... Probably not.
10:32 PM: And a memoriam. Bobby Hobb? I recognize the song he's singing. Gerry Rafferty ... :( Oh, so many great names. Alex Chilton too. ... We lost Jimmy Dean? O_o
10:34 PM: MICKJAGGER!
10:40 PM: Commercial. God, as if there weren't enough. XP
10:46 PM: Kris, we haven't seen you in a while! ... And is it just me or are you and Jeff Bridges looking oddly similar nowadays? XD
10:47 PM: Babs!
10:50 PM: A remix of 'Misirlou'? Mkay ... Nikki, you have ... Marge Simpson hair. Best Rap Album? Um ... *picks blindly* The Roots? ... Eminem. Well ... I guess white guys can rap.
10:53 PM: Mkay, another commercial. GETTOARCADEFIREALREADY!
10:58 PM: Puff Daddy/P-Diddy/Sean Combs ... you're still relevant?
10:59 PM: Rihanna and Drake performing? *returns to The Dark Knight Returns*
11:02 PM: Marc Anthony and J-Lo? Presenting Record of the Year ... I'm pulling for maybe Cee-Lo.
11:04 PM: Well, congrats again, Lady Antebellum! Really taking the Grammys this year!
11:05 PM: And another commercial. Arcade Fire already, c'mon!
11:12 PM: ARCADEFIREYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
11:20 PM: Babs and Kris presenting Album of the Year! Arcade Fire all the way!
11:22 PM: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!
11:25 PM: And they're playing 'The Suburbs'. This is the best end to the Grammys. Ever. (Correction: 'Ready to Start')
11:28 PM: Hey! End credits and Delta and Hilton ads! Off my screen! I wanna see Arcade Fire!
And the Grammys are over. Well, not a fan of all the winners, but I might have to check out Lady Antebellum now. Until the Oscars! Allons-y!